水夫猫 ワシュの日記

I am going to move out when I find a definite place and when chris has another job lined up.

My mother is insane and has shut everyone out.

My aunt is fucking awesome.

Gabe is fun and I hope things work out.

Work is tiring but I am gaining a bit more confidance.

Art is growing slowly. Want to work on more womens right or womens plight paintings in larger works.

ideas:
utopia world, one nation of eveyone, population was 98% whiped out so 2% of population live together in a pangea type world. memories of the event that caused it all have been blocked and covered up by gov't

People without magic are the minority and are looked down upon till the creation of iron gives them a way to "fight back" or stand up to magic users

Poisonus kiss curse placed on a family whose liniage causes the first born girl to have the curse.

 

 I have no fucking idea what to do with my life.

I think  i just want something simple, but then if i did office work i would kill myself.
But I cant' get a job, my dad keeps jumping down my throat about not looking but I have, I put my resume out to everywhere I know of. I am not going to knock on peoples doors, but then I meet all these people and their like, oh I got a job right out, I guess I was in the right place at the right time or something. Or God has a plan. Then I just have to fake smile and nod and walk off. I just feel like, WTF, am I that unqualified for a job? And then I got sick the day before the job fair which pissed me off and I am still sick but atleast I can breath now. But I have been parrinoid and my no self esteem has been kicking in and making me think that I am the worst teacher ever or something, all because the goverment has been pushing for best qualified teachers and things like that. I know alot, and I have been through alot but I dont deal with behavior issues well. And then I think about Mrs. Mairon and Im like, fuck if I could be half of the teacher she is then I would be the best teacher ever. She should get the National Art Teacher award every year.
And now I have looked into doing library school and that would be awsome, but I dont know if I should do public library work or be a school librarian. I love both and public library I would always have a job but school librarian...maybe not so much. And being in my fathers house does not help, its so depressing here. And while I hate what my mom is doing I love being at her. minus the smoking. I think i just miss the freedom of being me, like i was with everyone at school. 
I would be happy as hell, working as a teacher or librarian in Virginia and being around karen and well, everyone else is leaving after this year so i guess just karen and jude. lol. Its more fun in virginia and there are alot more of the farms and such, and people are a little less on the god thing. I mean i love being home but I would HAVE to live in new orleans. I feel all creepy looking at any girls in the baton rouge area because i think , ah crap if they knew they would probably wana kill me. And all the guys here look either the same carbon copy variety, or they have a partner. And I would be more comphy going to a club up there than here since its alot safer lol. I think, I dont know how this may work however I hope I can get a job, but after I am done a grad school which should not take long if I take a good bit of classes maybe two or three years, I go to virginia. Depending on what certificate I get for being a librarian, if it is national then I will do it but if not then I will be a public librarian and go back to virginia. I will stay with parents till then, saving money, I miss being far away from parents.